


Ficlets and drabbles about Jon/Theon

by Thehairshirt



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Oral Sex, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-19
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-09 11:39:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1981575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thehairshirt/pseuds/Thehairshirt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a bunch of little pieces, some will be NSFW, others won't.  If you have a prompt or suggestion feel free to contact me on my tumblr, which can be found on my profile here.  </p><p>Chapter 1 - Theon drags Jon to get pancakes insanely early in the morning</p><p>Chapter 2 - Jon comforts Theon</p><p>Chapter 3 - Theon comforts Jon</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 5am pancakes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_blonde_mermaid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_blonde_mermaid/gifts).



“Fuck off.” Jon mumbled into the pillow as he felt a nudge on his ribs.

“Come on, get up.” Theon chirped, his cheerfulness cutting through Jon’s nerve like a razor blade. “We need to go now.”

“Why? Wait, don’t tell me why, just NO.” Jon said, throwing a spare pillow over his shoulder lazily in Theon’s direction.

“Aww come on, don’t be a dick.” Theon said, pulling Jon’s arm in protest. “I’ll buy you something nice, I swear.”

“Hnnnngg… fine.” Jon said, sitting up, rubbing his eyes sleepily. 

“Ok I’m ready when you are.” Theon grinned, and Jon laughed as he looked over for the first time and saw that Theon was already completely dressed, shoes and all. Jon lazily sat up, and pulled on the outfit he had been wearing the day before, conveniently lying on the floor next to the bed. As he pulled a black, loosely fitted jumper, riddled with holes from years of wear over his head, Theon bounded over with his boots. 

“Come on!” Theon begged, in that moment looking like a child.

“What time is it anyway?” Jon yawned, pulling on some crumpled black jeans.

“I don’t know, like 4:30.”

“Fuck off. You woke me up that early? I can’t say I’m not surprised.” Jon said, yawning again as he laced up his boots and stood up from the bed.

“We’ll take my car.” Theon said, ignoring Jon’s sour attitude as he walked off into the kitchen of their small apartment and fetched the keys from the kitchen counter.

“Whatever.” Jon mumbled, tucking his wallet and keys into his back pocket.

They drove around aimlessly for what seemed like hours, all the while Jon resting his forehead on the cool glass window of the passenger’s seat while Theon scoured the neighbourhood for somewhere to be open. Jon’s grumpiness was highly amusing to Theon, and he turned up the stereo, much to Jon’s groans of protest, and started yelling along to the music. Jon tried to hide a smile, as grumpy as he was about being woken up at this ungodly hour, he couldn’t help but enjoy Theon’s usual goofy attempts to cheer him up. 

“Public Enemy have never sounded so awful.” Jon laughed, reaching over and turning down the volume. Theon’s hand lashed out like a snake, swatting away Jon’s hand and turning it up again, even louder. 

“You LOVE it!” He yelled, a stupid grin plastered over his face.

They drove around for a short while longer, and finally found an all-night café that was open, it’s neon glow visible in the haze of the early morning. Theon pulled the car in and they both entered together, Theon swaggering with his usual confidence, Jon walking as though he was a reanimated corpse. They sat at a booth by the window, Theon poring over the menu like it was an ancient scroll with the secrets to the universe, Jon staring out the window blankly as a car slowly rolled by. The sound of the wheels on the damp asphalt made Jon realised it had rained recently, perhaps when he was asleep. He shivered, wrapping his arms around himself for extra warmth. He wished he had brought a jacket with him.

The waitress looked as tired as Jon was, as she walked over to the booth. She had a hard face that seemed both youthful and old, surrounded by ragged loose strands of hair that escaped the bun the rest was wrapped into.

“What would you like boys?”

“Just coffee for me, black, no sugar.” Jon said.

“Sure, hon, and you?”

Theon scratched the day-old stubble on his chin as he regarded the menu. “I’ll get the tall stack of blueberry pancakes. Make it two. Two and a short stack. Fifteen pancakes. And some coffee, milk no sugar.”

Jon rolled his eyes and buried his face in his hands to conceal his laughter.

“That’s a lot of pancakes.” The waitress said, obviously trying to gauge the level of sarcasm in Theon’s voice.

“I know, I’m really hungry.” Theon said, not a touch of sarcasm in his words. 

The waitress raised an eyebrow at him, and then sighed, her pencil scratching away at her notepad. 

“It’ll be a few minutes, want any water?”

“No thanks.” Jon and Theon said simultaneously. Theon punched Jon’s arm as she walked away. 

“What was that for?’ Jon asked. Theon shrugged.

“Dunno, just felt like punching you.” He said, a cigarette filter perched between his lips as he started rolling tobacco in its paper in bony fingers.

“Asshole. Remind me why I like you again.” Jon said, snatching the perfectly rolled cigarette from Theon’s mouth as he was searching for a lighter. Theon shrugged and started rolling another. 

“It’s my dashing good looks and my huge cock.” Theon smirked, delighting in Jon’s look of distaste in reaction, lighting his own cigarette now. 

Jon leaned his head against the window, nodding and whispering his thanks as the waitress brought him his coffee. He nursed it between both hands, enjoying the warmth of the mug in his cold fingers, staring out the window as he smoked and sipped at the coffee, trying hard not to fall asleep in the booth.

The stack of pancakes was monstrous, and Jon wrinkled his nose as Theon instantly began to attack them like a lion on its prey. 

“You seriously aren’t going to finish that, are you?” He asked, sipping his coffee. 

“’Course I am.” Theon said around a mouthful of pancake. 

Jon moaned, covering his eyes with a hand. “Are we going to be here all morning? I want to go back to bed.”

“Nah we’ll be here until I’m done, then we can go back to bed.” 

Jon groaned, curling up in the foetal position against the window. Theon began to talk about all kinds of things; Jon could care less about a lot of it even when fully awake, let alone in his current dreamlike state. Jon merely nodded, sipping at his coffee even once it had cooled to the point of tasting sour, only really registering moments of Theon’s one-sided conversation.

“Remember the time that I took acid and then went to dinner with your family?”

“Hey so I saw this really fucked up thing about sharks the other day…”

“…Oh man it’s seriously the best album I’ve heard all year.”

Jon nodded, and occasionally for good measure would throw in a “Yeah.”. 

Theon wolfed down the entire tower of pancakes, smothered in an amount of syrup that Jon found grotesque, and all the while puffing away on his slim, hand-rolled cigarettes. Once he was done they threw down a bunch of notes and coins onto the table and walked back to the car, the icy winds making Jon shiver. He slumped into the passenger’s seat and closed his eyes, taking no heed to Theon’s insane yelling along to the music or the erratic movement of his driving.   
He awoke as Theon had arms cradling around him, the passenger-side door open, Theon hunched over trying to pick up Jon.

“Are you trying to carry me inside?” Jon murmured as he smirked. 

“Well you fell asleep in the car like a child, come on.” Theon laughed, still trying to pull Jon’s curled body into his arms.

“You have to lift with your legs not your back.” Jon said pointedly.

“Fine then, you can walk yourself inside with that attitude.” Storming off with mock disappointment. 

Jon rolled his eyes and willed his body to his feet, making way back into the apartment where he kicked off his boots and instantly flopped down onto the bed. In a minute Theon joined him, pulling off his jumper and snuggling his body alongside Jon’s, squirming in attempt to both get comfortable and attention.

“I’m SO tired now.” Theon announced, lying his head down on Jon’s chest. “Goodnight Jon.”

Jon laughed. “It’s morning now.”

“Ah whatever, same thing.” Theon said, throwing an arm around Jon’s waist.

Jon laughed and let himself drift off to sleep, the whole time wondering to himself how he ended up in this crazy mess.


	2. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Theon is comforted by Jon. NSFW for porny reasons.

Jon walked Theon to the door, running fingertips through the roots of his hair nervously as he ascended the painted steel steps behind him. He watched Theon fumble for his keys in his pockets, feeling momentarily embarrassed for catching himself for staring at Theon’s ass. 

“You wanna come in?”

The words made Jon’s heart skip a beat. “Yeah.” He said with an excitement in his voice that made him feel like a fool.

Theon grinned at him as he opened the door. “Come in, I’ll put the kettle on.” He said.

Theon’s apartment was pretty much how Jon imagined it would be. In a stark contrast to Jon’s neat and orderly home, Theon’s was chaotic, with mismatched furniture and objects strewn about at random. It was also incredibly cold, nearly as cold as the winter night’s air outside. Jon decided to keep his coat on.

“Sit down, for fuck’s sake.” Theon said, gesturing wildly with both hands as he walked into his dingy kitchen. Jon sat perched on his couch, feeling completely unable to relax despite the alcohol buzzing through his blood stream. He always felt awkward when he was at someone’s place for the first time. A few agonising minutes passed while Theon sang some completely bizarre and out-of-tune song in the kitchen while Jon sat with his whole body tense, eyeing the coffee table with scattered books and dishes on it. Theon flopped down onto the couch next to Jon, putting their cups of tea on the table as he rest his shoes on the edge. 

Jon took the mug of tea in both hands, and sipped at the tea nervously despite that it was hot enough to burn his tongue slightly. 

“Thanks for walking me back.” Theon said, yawning. “I’m totally fucked right now, probably will go to bed after this cuppa.”

“Oh.” Jon said, trying not to sound disappointed. “I’ll call a cab in a minute then.”

“Nah don’t do that, you can crash here, it’s fine.” Theon said, waving his arms around crazily again. “I better not find you up at like six in the morning cleaning up my place though.”

Jon laughed, bending forward to start unlacing his shoes. “Ok I’m a little bit neater than you, but not like that.”

Theon searched his jacket pockets and retrieved his tobacco. “Wanna have a joint before bed?”

Jon felt slightly relieved at the suggestion, feeling the need for something more to ease his tension. “Sure.” He shrugged as Theon hauled himself up from the couch and disappeared into the bedroom, shuffling around in there for a few moments.

Jon watched his slender fingers working the paper as he rolled it skilfully. For the umpteenth time that night Jon watched Theon lick the paper, and thought about that tongue on his skin. They sat on the fire escape while they smoked, the metal icy cold even with the fabric of their clothing to protect their skin.  
“Your neighbours care about this?” Jon asked.

“Nah, not really.” Theon shrugged as he exhaled slowly and threw the butt down several storeys to the car park below. “Fuck it’s cold.”

“Yeah I want to get inside now. How do you get through winter without heating?” Jon laughed, feeling a rush to his head as he stood up. 

“I’ve got my ways.” Theon said slyly. He followed after Jon inside, and then shot ahead of him to the bedroom. “Close the window please.” He called from the bedroom. Jon glared into the empty space of the doorway, then turned back, sighing as he pulled down the stiff window. When he walked into the bedroom, Theon was already curled in bed, his back facing away from Jon. Jon wrinkled his nose at the mess of clothes all over the floor, only a tiny pathway of clean floor leading from the doorway to the bed. There was a stack of books pressed against the wall and a small wardrobe, bursting open with clothes that had been thrown in carelessly. Jon threw his jacket on top of the wardrobe and climbed into the bed beside Theon, the warmth of the body next to him making his heart pound in excitement. He shivered, rubbing both of his arms while he tried not to think about the growing tension between his legs. For several minutes he lay on his back, willing his body to warm the bed as he stared aimlessly at the cracked ceiling. 

Suddenly he felt movement beside him, and before he could react Theon’s lips were against his, and he could not tell who had initiated the kiss. He turned his body in the bed and put an arm around Theon, pulling him closer as he kissed deeper. Theon tasted like cheap beer and smoke but the softness of his lips and the smoothness of his tongue made Jon want him more than ever. Theon moaned softly as Jon pulled on his lower lip between his teeth, only to come back for a softer, sweeter kiss. Jon’s cock was straining hard against its fabric confinement now, and he reached his hand down to unzip his jeans for some sense of relief. It just made him more eager though, and he gently rubbed a hand up the inside of Theon’s thigh, just for a moment ghosting his fingertips over the front of Theon’s pants, feeling that he was hard too.

Theon pulled away at that and stared at Jon with a peculiar expression. “Hey… uh, is it ok if we just… I dunno… kiss?”

Jon nodded, reaching out to touch Theon’s cheek “Uh, yeah, ‘course it is.” 

“Fuck. I’m sorry.” Theon said, moving away and lying on his back. “Sorry.”

Jon suddenly felt incredibly concerned, and rested his head on his hand, propped up on his elbow. He had never seen Theon be anything but cocky and arrogant.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. What’s up?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Theon murmured. Jon pulled his reluctant body close, and lay for a moment with Theon’s head on his chest.

“Come on, talk to me.” Jon said. He had an affinity for comforting people, and took pride in himself as a regular confidante for most people. He felt Theon sigh into his chest.

“You know the guy I was dating last year?”

“Ramsay, right?” Jon said, his nerves kicking in again.

“Yeah.”

“What about him?”

“Well, you know things were pretty fucked up between us, right?” Theon whispered, the sincerity in his voice making Jon feel uneasy about what was going to be said next. 

“I mean, kinda. I know I didn’t see much of you around that time, and I know Robb was worried a bit, but I don’t know much else than that.” Jon replied, feeling more and more ashamed with how hard and eager he was with every word.

“Um, well, like… it was bad. He was. I don’t really know why I’m telling you this to be honest.” Theon mumbled, as he wrapped an arm tighter around Jon. “He was abusive.”

The silence stretched between them and Jon felt even guiltier. “Oh god, I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault.” Theon said, looking up at Jon for the first time, his eyes looking cloudy as though he might cry, but Theon never cried. “But he did a lot of shit to me that wasn’t pleasant. He – he raped me. I want to get over it but I can’t.”

Jon said nothing for a moment and just ran a hand through Theon’s hair delicately. “I’m sorry if I went to far with you.” He whispered. “I just wanted you and I had no idea, I’m an idiot.”

Theon crawled up on his elbows and placed a gentle kiss on Jon’s cheek. “Seriously you did nothing wrong, I want you I just can’t get over the past because I’m a fucking dickhead.”

Jon resisted the urge to chase the kiss with another. “You’re not a dickhead, he’s the piece of shit that treated you badly. I’d never make you do anything you don’t want to do. I’m not disappointed in you or anything. We’re cool.” Jon added another squeeze of his arm for good measure. 

Jon suppressed a gasp as he felt a soft wet kiss on his neck, followed by a long wet line drawn down to his collarbone as he felt Theon’s breath ghost his skin. Before he could say anything in reaction, he felt slender fingers down the front of his pants, teasing his cock through his underwear. 

“Ok so turns out I’m still really fucking drunk and stoned and horny anyway, and you are really sexy...” Theon laughed, his wide grin returning, much to Jon’s relief. They kissed again for a moment, before Jon pulled away.

“Well, I mean, if I do anything you don’t want or aren’t ok with…”

“I’ll let you know.” 

Jon tentatively ran a hand up and down Theon’s arm as they kissed again. Theon sat up and threw his shirt and jumper over his head in one swift motion, and then returned to kiss Jon some more, his skinny body prickling in the cold. Theon straddled Jon, leaning down to kiss his throat. Jon’s fingertips ran over imperfections that Theon’s back was riddled with, small slivers of scar tissue, things that Ramsay had inflicted and always would be with Theon. Jon had his own scars too. For a moment his brain fought his body, and shame crept through him like the cold for a moment until Theon moaned his name softly in his ear while slim fingers rubbed his cock, and it was all forgotten in an instant. 

Occasionally Jon’s fingers would seek out a sensitive spot on Theon’s skin that would shrink back from his touch, but Theon’s eagerness never waned. Jon awkwardly attempted to pull off his shirt under Theon’s weight, and Theon grinned down at him as he helped the shirt go over his head. Jon pulled Theon close with a roughness that he felt a pang of guilt over, and then he rolled them both over, so he was on top. He nuzzled and kissed down Theon’s throat as his hand gently stroked up Theon’s thigh again, this time slower and more teasingly than he had before. Theon murmured something incomprehensible in his ear as his fingers traced over the hardness there, and Jon grinned to himself. Jon kissed down to a small hard nipple and looked up to Theon with his large dark eyes. 

“Can I?”

“Fuck yes you can.” Theon said with an annoyed urgency, pushing Jon’s shoulder as an indication to descend further. Jon ran a teasing trail of kisses down on flesh that would shrink on each touch. He undid the button on Theon’s jeans with clumsiness that he cursed himself for, and then pulled down the zip agonizingly slowly. 

“Just suck my cock already.” Theon whined impatiently, and Jon sniggered, feeling Theon’s familiar personality creep back. He pulled Theon out of his underwear and teasingly ran the tip of his tongue down the shaft. Theon moaned and grabbed a handful of Jon’s hair in his pale fingers, urging him onward. Jon lapped at the small bead of moisture that had formed on the head of Theon’s cock before taking as much as he physically could into his mouth at once. Theon moaned again, louder this time, bucking his hips upward slightly. Jon successfully fought his gag reflex and started working his lips up and down the length of Theon’s cock, moaning softly to himself. He felt as though he had to fight every fibre of his being not to pull Theon down onto his cock and fuck him senseless, but Jon kept at his slow rhythm and tried to ignore his cock straining hard against the fabric of his underwear. 

“Fuck you look so good doing that.” Theon panted. Jon gripped the base of his shaft firmly and ran his tongue teasingly along the head again, grinning.

“Come here.” Theon said, arms out to embrace him. They lay together with their limbs entwined, Theon’s hand between them slowly massaging the head of Jon’s cock again. Jon awkwardly pulled off his skinny jeans and huddled close to Theon again, pushing their hips together, his body delighting in the warmth of Theon’s skin.

Jon moaned, grinding his cock against Theon’s. 

“Fuck I want you inside me so bad.” Theon whispered into Jon’s dark curls as he raked his fingernails down Jon’s back. 

“I – fuck I want you too.” Jon said, biting down hard on Theon’s shoulder. He blushed, for a moment feeling strangely shy. “Uh… lube?”

“Yeah.” Theon said, rolling over to root through the drawer of his bedside table. Jon shifted forward and lay right next to him, his hand teasing Theon’s still moist cock, while his own pressed against him. Theon passed the bottle rather unceremoniously to him. Jon wet his fingers and they searched between Theon’s legs while he placed soft kisses along Theon’s shoulder. Theon emitted a sharp gasp as he pushed the first finger inside.

“Too much?” Jon asked, kissing his neck between words.

“Not enough.” Theon laughed, his body trembling. Jon pushed a second finger inside. Theon wriggled his back against Jon’s chest as Jon slowly moved his fingers in and out in a fluid motion. 

“Enough of this teasing Snow, come on and just fuck me already.” Theon sneered. Jon laughed and let his fingers ease out slowly. He felt embarrassed again.

“Just let me put on some protection ok?” 

Theon threw him a foil package and poked his tongue out at him, turning back to face him. “Come on be quick about it.” 

“You’re so bossy aren’t you?” Jon said as he rolled it on. “Come here.”

Theon embraced him with an eagerness that was incredibly pleasing. Theon straddled him again, sitting upright as he sat down slowly on Jon’s cock, easing down inch at a time. He laughed at Jon again. 

“You should see your face right now. You look really hot, but dumb.”

Jon pulled him close in response, kissing him savagely. “You’re pretty sexy for an idiot.”

He bucked his hips upward slightly, and Theon began to ride him at a pace that was slow but rhythmic. As they kissed, slow, deep kisses Jon ran his palms up and down Theon’s flat chest and stomach, occasionally pausing on his hips to guide them. Theon began to stroke himself and Jon pulled his hand away playfully, replacing it with his own. His hand was slightly wet with lube still, and Theon grunted, increasing his pace slightly as his cock slid effortlessly in Jon’s fist.  
“Oh fuck that’s good.” Theon moaned, digging his nails into Jon’s chest. “I want you on top now though.”

They laughed as they tumbled over in a tangle of limbs. “You’re such a bossy bottom.” Jon teased as he nipped at Theon’s earlobe lightly. It was at that moment he realised how close he was, and he felt another wave of embarrassment. 

“Fuck you’re so tight.” Jon panted as he started to rock his hips again, Theon’s legs tangled around him. Theon began a witty retort, but it was silenced by Jon’s lips pressed against his own. Theon reached between them and continued to stoke himself at a faster pace. Jon peered down, watching as Theon stroked himself, feeling his own orgasm building rapidly.

“Oh fuck Theon I’m going to come…” He moaned, holding himself perfectly still, his entire body trembling, knowing any slight movement might send him beyond the point of no return.

“Yeah? I bet I’ll make you come harder than you ever have before too.” Theon laughed, pushing himself up against Jon. “Don’t stop now.”

That in itself was enough to push Jon over the edge, and he held onto Theon tight as he rode a wave of pleasure, his cock pulsing as he came. He moaned Theon’s name weakly as the orgasm ebbed away. They lay in their embrace for a moment, Theon kissing Jon’s neck as he panted over Theon’s shoulder.  
“Fuck, Theon, that was amazing.” He moaned softly. “Even better than I imagined.” He confessed. Theon stroked his cock lazily as they kissed, Jon softening inside him. 

Jon smiled and kissed his cheek as he slowly pulled out. “I want to make you come in my mouth.” He lowered himself down so he was lying on the bed, and he started to slowly suck on the tip of Theon’s cock again. 

“Oh fuck, yeah, suck harder… Oh fuck yeah like that…” Theon moaned. Jon wanted to laugh at the amount of times Theon said fuck, but there was something oddly sexy and endearing about it too. Jon did exactly as he was instructed, lazily running his tongue up and down Theon’s shaft, pushing a finger inside him again. Theon’s climax was sudden, and Jon was shocked out of his rhythm for a moment as he felt warm streams of come run down the back of his throat. He swallowed and pumped Theon’s cock a few more times for good measure, and then crawled up on his elbows to kiss Theon again. He wondered whether Theon would mind tasting himself, but he didn’t seem to object, and although his eyes were closed he could feel that Theon was smiling. 

Afterwards they lay together, Jon’s back pressed against Theon’s chest as Theon smoked a cigarette and balanced his laptop on them, scrolling through the contents of his hard drive.

“Hey so uh, thanks.” Theon said, blushing. Jon wished he had a camera on him in that moment; Theon blushing was a rare sight indeed. 

“For the amazing sex? It was nothing.” Jon laughed. Theon punched his arm playfully.

“You know what I mean you dickhead. Anyway want to put on a movie?”

“Sure. Does this mean we’ll end up abandoning the movie halfway through and fuck again?”

Theon shrugged as he butt out his cigarette. “Yeah probably.” 

They nestled together again, this time Jon’s head on Theon’s chest, listening to his heartbeat as Theon's fingers lazily trailed through his hair.


	3. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Theon comforts Jon. Modern AU again.  
> This is kind of trash and so am I, I apologise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note in regards to trigger warnings - I usually don't have to put them in my fics but I just wanted to give everyone a heads up that if you are sensitive to self-harm/self-injury and mental illness in general you might want to give this chapter a miss. x

“I’m not here right now…” The familiar voice chirped on the other end of the phone. Theon hung up and threw his phone down on the bed in frustration.  
“Fuck.” He sighed to himself. Jon had been completely off the radar for a week and a half now, and Theon had a bad feeling creeping into the pit of his stomach. It was not unusual for Jon to have brief stints of ignoring phone calls or skipping out on any social events, but with no contact at all Theon was starting to get worried. He chewed his lip as he pondered what he should do. He threw his cigarette down into the overflowing ashtray next to his bed, and pulled on his coat.

Theon had been given a spare set of keys to Jon’s apartment some months ago. Theon felt awkward entering the house as if it were his own and never used them, but decided to take them with him just in case. He drove frantically, his nerves itching him and making it hard for him to keep concentrated on the road. He flipped off the driver of a car who honked their horn angrily at him, and let himself inch over the speed limit. He screeched to a halt outside of Jon’s apartment, his hands clammy on the steering wheel. He relaxed back into his seat and lit a cigarette, and tried to call Jon again. No answer. He slid his phone into his back pocket as he got out of the car, and flicked the newly-lit cigarette down into a drain. His fingers trembled as he fumbled for the keys to Jon’s front door. He pressed the doorbell and waited an agonising minute, listening for any small sound of life within, but he heard nothing. He unlocked he door, his lungs feeling tight.

“Hey, Jon, it’s me. You home?” He called. He heard a shuffle and a door close.

“Jon…?” He asked as he closed the door behind him. Jon’s apartment was in a state that Theon could never have imagined. In contrast to the typical neat, orderly way Jon kept his home, there were stacks of plates and dishes everywhere, clothes on the floor, everything in complete disarray. Jon was normally the kind of man who would use a coaster, a little force of habit that Theon would constantly joke about, so the fact that there were week-old dishes in the sink was making a small pit form in Theon’s stomach. 

“Go away, Theon.” A muffle voice finally replied. Theon followed the voice into the bedroom and sat down on the bed. The small en suite that lead from the bedroom was closed off and Theon sighed, knowing Jon had locked himself in there. 

“Hey, I just dropped by because I haven’t heard from you.” Theon said as he sat on the corner of the bed, pushing aside a pile of dirty clothes with a shoe. “I’m kind of worried to be honest.”

Silence hung heavy in the air. He heard some shuffling in the bathroom but there was no reply.

“Oh god I’m going to sound like a fucking girl saying this, but really, I am worried. You know you can talk to me about anything. Just come out.” Theon sighed, lying down on the bed, lighting up another cigarette. 

“Please, just go ok.” The voice from the other side of the door muttered, thick with sadness. 

“I’m not goin’ anywhere.” Theon said, blowing smoke to one side. “You’ve been alone for too long. Just come out and we’ll hang out, we don’t even have to talk about it.”

“I can’t.” Jon said, so softly that Theon could barely hear it. 

“You’re not stuck or something?” Theon laughed.

“No, I… just go. Please.”

Theon’s stomach was a knot of concern. “I’m going to come in.” He said, turning the door handle, but it was locked from inside. He butt out his cigarette in a cup next to the bed. “Come on Jon just come out or unlock the door so I don’t have to kick it in.”

“Go. Away. Please.” Jon sobbed. 

“No, Jon, fuck you I’m here to look after you whether you like it or not. Stand back.”

Theon had never kicked in a door before, and he slammed his body against the door to seemingly no avail. The second time yielded some results, and he heard the lock starting to splinter from the door.

“STOP IT THEON!” Jon yelled, his voice sounding alien on the other side of the door. “I’ll open it.”

There was shortness to his response that made Theon’s heart sink a little. He heard the latch turn and Jon opened the door. Theon let out a strangled sob when he saw the blood. 

He knew Jon had hurt himself in the past, and was reminded of the fact any time his fingertips traced over pink slivers of scar tissue on his arms and legs. Theon was no stranger to seeing blood, but he felt momentarily dizzy as he looked down at Jon, clutching his left arm with his right. Rivers of blood flowed between pale fingers. 

“Oh Jon.” Theon said with a sigh, the words escaping him before he could think about them. 

“I’m sorry.” Jon whispered, pale and trembling as he stood in the doorway. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry…” he repeated, his body shaking with sobs. Theon threw off his jacket onto the bed and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. 

“Don’t be. Come on I’ll help you clean up.” Theon said, using the kind of voice one would use to speak with a frightened animal. He realised how stupid he sounded, but took Jon over to the basin and started sponging off the blood with a washcloth. The broken glass of the smashed mirror crunched under his feet.  
His heart leapt into his throat when he cleared away enough blood to see that Jon had slashed deep, slivers of white glistening between pink and red. Jon stared blankly at the wall as Theon dabbed away more.

“Did you cut yourself open on the mirror?” Theon asked, rinsing the cloth and wringing pink water into the sink.

“No.” Jon said coldly. “I did it on purpose.”

Theon swallowed, choking back the tears welling up in his eyes. “I’m sorry.” 

Theon didn’t even know why he was apologising, perhaps he was apologising for the blubbering mess he felt he was about to become. Jon remained mute.  
Theon fought harder against the tears, the lump in his throat making it hard to even form words. 

“Hey, I think that this is more than I can handle, I think I’m going to have to take you to the hospital…” Theon said sheepishly. Jon moved away and sat down on the edge of the bathtub without a word. Theon followed him and crouched beside him, pushing the washcloth, now crimson, to his arm. 

“Keep holding this on, ok?” Theon said. Jon nodded weakly. “Ok come on, I’ll drive you.”

“Why don’t you just let me die?” Jon whispered, his voice cold and unnervingly calm and dripping with anger.

“Because I’d die without you.” Theon said, kissing Jon’s bloody hand delicately. “Please, for me, come on, let’s go.”

 

Theon’s bloodstained hands gripped the steering wheel as he raced towards the hospital. He threw nervous glances constantly to his side, but Jon remained completely still, curled in the foetal position in the passenger’s seat, clutching his wounded arm, eyes staring coldly at the world racing past him. 

The next couple of hours were a blur. Jon was taken through straight away but Theon was not allowed to go with him. Theon sat outside, in a café a couple of doors down from the hospital, sipping his scalding coffee staring down at his phone, waiting for any response from Jon. He laughed and shook his head at his own stupidity; having screamed at the nurses for not letting him in and throwing a chair against the wall. The last thing he needed right now was to be arrested, so he left, and called Robb to come meet him.

Theon didn’t even notice Robb arrive until he pulled the empty chair facing him out to sit. Robb looked tired, his eyes weary and pained, his hair unusually dishevelled. 

“Hey.” He said, reaching over to take a cigarette from Theon. “Sorry it took me so long to get here.”

‘”Don’t be.” Theon muttered, wondering how he was even going to put anything that was going on in the blur of his mind into words. “I don’t even know what to say, Robb.” He confessed, stubbing out his cigarette. 

“Yeah.” Robb nodded. “I’m sorry you were the one who had to do all that, but I do appreciate it a lot. Jon… Jon is a complicated guy, he’s always had problems, but I’ve never been able to really talk about it with him.”

Theon put his head in his hands. “I was a total fucking idiot in the hospital, so I got asked to leave. You probably should go and see Jon though, they said family only and I think he’s gonna need someone there. Shit.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it.” Robb said. Robb always had a kindness to him that was incredibly soothing to Theon. 

“His place was a total fucking sty.” Theon sighed “Like, you know Jon, he’s a total nut when it comes to cleanliness most of the time, but it was in bad shape. Maybe I should go clean it up for him or something.”

“Yeah that’s a good idea.” Robb said, “I’ll keep you posted on what’s going on.”

The chair scraped irritatingly loudly as Theon pushed it back. “Alright. Tell Jon – uhh, tell him I – send my love.” Theon muttered, his face flushing with embarrassment. 

Robb smiled weakly. “I will.” 

Theon felt a wave on numbness wash over him as he drove backing the direction of Jon’s apartment. He wanted to cry and scream and crash his car headfirst into a brick wall, but he instead drove to the store to pick up some things for Jon. Theon laughed as he scooped a couple of packs of tea lights into his shopping basket. Jon loved candles; perpetually the romantic. Theon bought little bits and pieces, more tea, milk, comfort food – anything he thought might be a little help in comforting Jon when he could go home. Theon’s heart sunk deep into his chest as he idly watched the woman at the counter scanning his items through, oblivious to her chirpy attempts at conversation with him. What if Jon was forced to stay there? Theon didn’t really know anything about such matters, but he thought it was plausible that a hospital might keep him there for psychiatric evaluation. He swallowed dryly, his stomach churning as he walked back to his beat-up little car, groceries in hand. 

Returning to Jon’s apartment stirred up strange feelings in Theon’s chest that he could not pinpoint. He sighed as he placed the bags of groceries on the dirty counter. He had no idea where to start – cleaning was not exactly Theon’s forte. He walked over to the milk crate full of records in the corner of Jon’s lounge room and started flipping through them. He smiled as he picked one out, remembering the time that he got Jon drunk enough to get him to dance to it. The moment of silence and the warm crackle of the needle running over vinyl was Theon’s favourite moment of putting on an album. As the music started to play he stretched his tense limbs, beginning to gather up the stacks of dirty dishes. 

It took Theon several hours at least to tidy up the place, the bathroom being the worst part of it all. He sobbed as he mopped up Jon’s blood, and gathered the tiny pieces of shattered mirror into his hands. 

It was 2am when Robb finally called, but Theon was still awake. He had smoked several joints and curled up in Jon’s bed, but Jon’s scent just made him feel numb again. Theon snatched the phone from the bedside table as soon as it rung. 

“Yeah?”

“Hey, so they’re letting me take him home. You there?”

Theon sighed in relief. “Yeah I got it looking nice for him too. How is he?”

Robb paused for a moment. “Considering… he’s ok. Really tired. We’ll be back soon.”

Theon hung up and got out of the bed, smoothing the covers back into place. He paced around Jon’s small apartment, his mind racing and nerves seemingly out of control. He felt a wave of nausea and relief through his body as he heard the scratching of keys searching for the lock of the door. 

Robb entered first, holding the door open for Jon, who entered pale and silent as a ghost. He was wearing Robb’s jacket. He silently glided past Theon and flopped himself down onto the bed in the other room. 

Robb sat down on the couch, wearily gesturing for Theon to come over. Theon sat next to him. “Want a beer or something?”

Robb laughed. “I would but I’ll drive back home soon, so no, thanks.”

Theon ran his fingers through his hair nervously. “What happened?”

Robb lounged back. “He got stitches, talked to a psych guy. They wanted him to stay in the ward for a while but I talked them out of it. They gave me a reference for a psychologist, but I’m not going to broach the subject with him just yet.”

Theon sighed in relief. “So, he’s alright?”

“Well you know, he’s obviously not doing great. Would you be able to stay and look after him for a bit?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks.” Robb said, placing an arm awkwardly around Theon’s shoulder and squeezing him tight. “I really should get home, I’m totally fucked. Let me know if you need anything.”

“You sure you don’t wanna just stay on the couch or something?” Theon asked, his eyes following Robb as he stood up.

“Nah, I think I’ll just get in the way.” Robb shrugged. “Thanks again for helping out. I’ll probably swing by tomorrow after work.” He closed the door behind him, and Theon sighed, letting his body sink against it. He went to the bedroom, pausing in the doorway to eye Jon sitting on the end of the bed. 

“Hey.” Jon whispered, staring down at his bandaged arm. Theon sat next to him, gingerly placing a hand on Jon’s back. 

“Hi.”

Jon leant his head on Theon’s shoulder, sighing as Theon ran his hands through his dark hair. “You tidied up my place.” He noted.

Theon chuckled softly. “Yeah imagine that, me doing some intensive cleaning.” 

Jon looked up at him and smiled. “Did you wear a French maid’s outfit while doing it?”

Theon laughed, a wave of relief creeping through him at Jon’s corny jape. “You would like that, wouldn’t ya?”

“Maybe.” Jon said softly. “I think I really need to lie down, I’m not feeling so great.”

“Yeah of course.” Theon said, kneeling beside the bed to pull Jon’s shoes off. Jon awkwardly wriggled out of his jeans and threw them on the floor, and climbed under the covers. He looked so small and pale in that moment that Theon thought he might start to cry again. 

“Do you want anything?” Theon asked.

“Uh, a cup of tea might be nice.” Jon said. “Maybe a hug too.”

Theon grinned like an idiot. “I can easily arrange both of those things.” 

When he returned Jon was curled up again, his laptop on the bed beside him. His trembling fingers curled around the mug as Theon handed it to him. 

“Thanks.” Jon whispered, and his face flushed pink a little as Theon placed a tender kiss on his cheek. Theon took off his pants, and wriggled in his body close to Jon’s, wrapping an arm around Jon’s skinny body. Jon sunk into him like a ragdoll, and lay with his head on Theon’s chest, still cradling the mug of tea in both hands. 

“Hey so I’m just going to say that if you know, you want to talk, I’m here, but I don’t expect you to say anything.” Theon muttered, feeling embarrassed at his lack of eloquence. 

“Thank you.” Jon said, nuzzling deeper into Theon’s chest. “I’m so sorry for what I did.” He handed the mug to Theon who put it on the bedside table.  
“You shouldn’t be sorry Jon, I’m just worried. I don’t know what’s going on in your head and sometimes that scares me.”

Jon’s body starting shaking with sobs again, and Theon ran a hand through his hair.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He sniffed, his voice almost inaudible against Theon’s chest. “My body aches with the need to cut it open. I broke the mirror because I couldn’t stand seeing my reflection any more. All my brain has let me think about for two weeks is how much I should hurt myself.”

Theon kissed the top of Jon’s head tentatively, but said nothing, trying hard to fight the lump in his throat. 

“I just get so fucking angry at myself and I can’t take it anymore.” Jon whimpered, in a strange, hysterical tone that made Theon’s stomach turn with nervousness. He wrapped his arms tighter around Jon.

“I love you, Jon.” Theon whispered, allowing himself to speak the words he dreaded saying the most. 

Jon looked up at him; large dark eyes full of tears, and leant up to kiss him. The kiss was hot and sweet, despite the salt of Jon’s tears on his tongue. 

“I love you too.” Jon panted as he pulled away. “That’s why I’m sorry for being such a fucking burden on you.”

“You’re not a burden.” Theon said, kissing Jon’s forehead. 

“There’s something wrong with me.” Jon said, burying his head against Theon’s chest.

“There’s something wrong with everyone.” Theon said, running his hand delicately along Jon’s shoulders. “I don’t care though, I still love you for who you are. Do you think I’d say this stupid sentimental bullshit to just anyone?”

Jon laughed although tears still spilled down his cheek. “Yeah, I really appreciate that you’re here for me right now. Thanks.”

Theon wiped a tear away with a finger and squeezed Jon with one arm again. 

“Ok.” Jon sniffed. “I’ve had enough feeling like shit, let’s just lie here for a while and cuddle.”

Theon finally let his body truly relax, and soon Jon was asleep, snoring gently into his chest. It was only then that Theon allowed the tears he was fighting back all day and night to fall.

**Author's Note:**

> A shoutout to the lovely The_blonde_mermaid who has been feeding me delicious prompts and keeping me inspired to keep writing more of our two favourite idiots. We are two lone wolves howling at the same moon.


End file.
